So far the new fall TV season has been about as exciting as dodging dog poop on Melrose Ave. As if to signal TV’s enthusiasm for their own medium there is actually a show called Bored To Death.

Talent shows, dancing shows, shows about losing weight, a show about cleaning your house? What is this — public access?

Juliana Margoles has a new show. Not sure about the new straight hair. It’s throwing me off. At first I thought she was Sela Ward. Her show is called “The Good Wife”. Apparently good wives all have straight hair.

Jenna Elfman has a new show. She now has curly hair. In fact she has Christina Applegate’s hair from last years  Samantha Who?

Why did they cancel Christina Applegate’s show only to replace it with someone who looks just like her and has the same hair? It’s even called Accidentally on Purpose!

It’s confusing. It’s like the same 10 people are on TV all the time and one of them is always going to be Kelsey Grammer! Pretty soon he’ll be announcing for the Dodgers. “Hi, This is Kelsey Grammer, it’s the bottom of the ninth and I’m going to be on TV whether you like it or not!”

Here’s something I’m bitter about. When shows all have the same title. Mentalist, Mental, Medium, Mercy, The Middle.

Here’s an idea. Carol Burnett Show.  Mary Tyler Moore Show. Rosanne.

I’m also bitter about this decision. I’ve been told that cop shows, doctor shows etc. They are now called “procedurals”. Like a colonoscopy. “Hey, Have you seen the new CSI”? It’s just like having a colonoscopy!

This makes me bitter. 3 shows about Vampires. Is there some Vampire demographic out there that I’m not aware of? Are Vampires in Pasadena clamoring for a piece of the rating’s pie?

Maybe people who work in TV are even bitterer than I am. Maybe there is some great master plan to confuse and irritate people enough  so they’ll stop watching TV all together.

Guess What TV. It’s working.